The Decade of Deep Love (The 10 Years I Loved You the Most) Chapter 11 – ‘Fool, Do You Know You Will Lose Me Forever?”

Fortunately, the tears in the intestinal wall were just small wounds, so it didn’t take long for the blood to coagulate. But it took Zhishu He quite a while to regain his strength to take a shower and clean up the mess. When he came out of the bathroom, Wenxu Jiang had been fast asleep.

By the faint yellow light from the bedside lamp, Zhishu He peered closely at the man he had loved for so long, who had such a pure and handsome appearance. Jiang had sharp and deep facial lines, high and straight nose and stylish and thick eyebrows, all of which made him an attractive man. Wenxu Jiang was destined to be a man who would get more attractive with the increase of age. However, Zhishu He knew well that it was almost impossible for him to see how handsome Wenxu Jiang was several years later.

“…You should treat me better, for I’m leaving…” lying on the side of Wenxu Jiang, Zhishu He wrapped his arms around Jiang’s waist. With a slight choke in his voice, Zhishu He said, “Be nice to your new lover… I am easygoing after all. Try to find someone who can bring good luck for you… and can accompany you for a long time…” Zhishu He finally burst out crying after a pause for a long time, “Fool, do you know you will lose me forever?”

For the whole night, Wenxu Jiang slept tiredly, not as peacefully as usual. He, in a daze, had a very real dream in the wee hours; in the dream, he was waiting for a coach with young Zhishu. The coach came and Zhishu left with a smile, waving goodbye to him. Wenxu Jiang felt afraid at that moment, so he cried and begged Zhishu to stay, running after the coach, but it was useless. Zhishu went farther and farther in the coach that never returned…

Everyone might have such a dream. You dreamed your loved ones (family members, spouse or friends) left you, and in the dream, you were so sad that you would cry out of breath and even woke up crying. Though you became awake, the depression, loneliness, heartache and remembrance from the dream gathered together, so deep that it could barely disperse. At least, the feeling was true at the moment when you just woke up.

Wenxu Jiang woke up with cold sweat all over, stretching his hand around to feel his partner. At the moment when he touched the warm body of Zhishu He, he rested assured and held Zhishu He to his chest tightly.

It was over six thirty in the morning. Zhishu He was woken up by Wenxu Jiang. After Long eyelashes fluttered twice, He opened his eyes, but felt so uncomfortable. There was a throbbing pain in the unspeakable place in his body.

“Zhishu…” Wenxu Jiang nuzzled the neck of Zhishu He like a big dog seeking intimate contact from his master, “It’s horrible. I dreamed you left me.”

Zhishu He did not have a good rest and asked in a daze, “Where do I leave for?”

“I’ve no idea, but I don’t allow you to go anywhere.”

“…” Zhishu He hadn’t got good sleep for a long time, so he was dizzy and fell asleep again in the arms of Wenxu Jiang. Nobody knew whether he heard what Wenxu Jiang said or not. Maybe he had heard it but couldn’t answer at all.

Wenxu Jiang was exceptionally well-behaved today. He put the phone on mute and did not care about his lovers outside. At about 7:00 a.m., before Zhishu He got up, he had walked out of the bedroom cautiously without any noise to prepare breakfast.

Zhishu He was surprised at what Wenxu Jiang did when he came out, then he chuckled, “I wonder how long you haven’t cooked for me.”

Sometimes, Wenxu Jiang hurt Zhishu’s feelings first and then he would be nice to Zhishu for apology. At least, Jiang still had a guilty conscience and knew that he should do something to maintain this apparent prosperity of their relationship, much as Zhishu He had done.

Wenxu Jiang replied in a while, “Last year, maybe. That day you had a low fever all night, and didn’t feel like eating anything, so I made a pot of millet gruel for you.”

In fact, Zhishu He had no interest in this topic, so he turned into the study, took medicine and then came out. Wenxu Jiang put a bowl of rice porridge and two plates of pickles in front of Zhishu He, “Did I hurt you last night?”

Zhishu He shook his head, as if nothing had happened. He did not want to recall a little bit of what he experienced last night. He only had half of the porridge. He actually wanted to eat more of what Wenxu Jiang made, while he could still swallow. But it was difficult. After taking a handful of medicine, he had already been half full. How could he eat anything more?

“No wonder… No wonder that you have lost weight. You eat so less as a cat,” Wenxu Jiang frowned. “If you get thinner, it will be uncomfortable to hug you.”

Zhishu He forced himself to eat more, and then smiled helplessly at Wenxu Jiang, “I should eat less.  How about making a hearty lunch for me?”