Imperfect Desires Chapter 211 – A Helpless Daughter

Darren had never been the person to believe in fate or coincidence. Because he believed that every route we took in life was eventually the reason behind what we encounter. However, for the very first time in his life, his belief was shaken. And the reason was Chen Xiu.

Except for fate, he couldn’t name that encounter as anything else. Calling it a coincidence didn’t seem right. Then what else was it if it wasn’t the fate playing around with him? Never in his wildest dreams, he could have thought of seeing Chen Xiu right there.

After contemplating the whole night, he decided to pay her a visit the next morning. He sent Dylan away on purpose and wheeled his wheelchair towards her room right beside his. But right at the door, he halted and his expression shifted. A deep frown etched between his brows as he heard the conversation. The voices from inside were loud enough.

“Can’t you do even one thing right?” came a loud and angry voice. “You only had to walk on the red carpet and you even messed that up? How could you be so dumb?!”

Xiu listened to her mother in silence as the latter went on and on. Her mother threw a newspaper at her face and continued, “Look at the headlines you made. Do you even have a clue how messed up the situation is back home?”

“Why is it that you only care about what people say about me? Why is it that you can never see my pain?” Xiu broke her silence as she stared at her mother’s face with hurt visible in her eyes. “Being my mother, your first question should have been, ‘How am I doing?’ but no. You just know how to be my manager. You never learned how to be my mother. Or perhaps, I’m not your daughter, to begin with.”

“Xiu!” Her mother’s voice took a sharp edge. “Don’t talk nonsense with me.”

Xiu slowly got off the hospital bed and stood before her mother taking the support of the bed as she said, “Why don’t you for once just say that I’m not really your daughter? That truth will only hurt me once. At least, I won’t be hurt every day.”

“You’re my daughter and that’s why I want the best for you. Why don’t you ever understand?” Her mother’s voice softened up a little but it only made Xiu snicker.

“The best for me?” Xiu mumbled in self-pity as she continued, “How do you know what’s best for me?”

“Because I’m your mother,” she heard the reply that made her laugh like a crazy person.

As Xiu sobered up, she had a poker face while her eyes stared at her mother’s face with accusations. “How come as my mother, you don’t even know that I hate this life? I hate everything you worked so hard for. A superstar? I hate that title. While trying to give me the best you took my freedom from me. And along with that, you took my self-identity. This roleplaying on the big screen has made me forget what or who I really am.”

Xiu held her mother’s shoulder and shook it helplessly as she added, “Why can’t you see that while trying to make me the so-called star, you took one thing I needed the most in my life. A mother. I so desperately yearned for you but you’re never around. You’re always working.”

“And for whom I had been working? I did-”

Xiu raised her hand to stop her from completing that sentence. “If you’re gonna say that you did all that for me. Don’t even bother! It wasn’t my dream. It was your dream. You made me an actress for your own sick selfish purposes. This had nothing to do with what I wanted.”

“You should have gotten an abortion back then. At least, I wouldn’t have to suffer through this life like this. Why did you bother keeping me? Wasn’t I just a mistake? Wasn’t I just a bastard?”

“Ptak!”

Darren heard a resounding slap along with that he heard the sound of something falling which made him anxious. He really wanted to barge inside the door but he didn’t know what right he had to do so. Technically, he couldn’t even be considered Xiu’s friend. And yet, all her words had made his heart ache badly.

Inside the room, Xiu had fallen down with that slap. Because of her injured ankle, she had been standing on the support of her one foot but when her mother’s hand made contact with her cheek, it was so sudden that she lost balance and fell. Hitting her head at the side of the table. 

She could feel something hot dripping down the side of her face but she didn’t move. 

“Xiu…” Her mother was equally shocked as she tried to help her up but Xiu shook her hand away.

“Get out of my room! If you were really here as a mother, you wouldn’t raise that hand,” tears had brimmed up in her eyes but she didn’t let a single one fall out of her eyes. “You can shut my mouth when I say I’m a bastard but you can’t stop everyone’s mouth. Isn’t that the reason why you never tell anyone that I’m your daughter?”

“Xiu, listen to mom-”

“I said get the hell out of here! You’re here as a manager and you’ve done your job now leave!”

Xiu didn’t lift her head to even spare her a glance as she sat motionless on the cold marble floor. While her mother clenched her hand in a tight fist and hesitated for a while before walking away from there.

“If you had the courage to accept me even as a bastard, I wouldn’t have been this lonely in life…” whispered Xiu to herself as the dam of her tears finally gave up and tears flooded out endlessly.

Darren watched her mother leaving the room and he felt a strange feeling rising in his heart. He really wanted to ask her how could a mother make her own daughter feel so helpless. Wasn’t a mother supposed to be the support of her child?

That was the first time, Darren realized the difference between himself and Xiu. He never felt lost or alone in life because his mother was always beside him but for Xiu, no one was there. Not even her own mother. And without the support of a mother, Xiu was really a pitiful child.