Everybody is Kung Fu Fighting, While I Started a Farm Chapter 2

Chapter 2: The Cucumber That Improves Spirit and Cultivation

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Translator: EndlessFantasy Translation  Editor: EndlessFantasy Translation

Hence, a small tree that was over two meters tall appeared before Jiang He in less than an hour.

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“???”

Jiang He felt as if his senses were flipping over.

“System, I’ve learned enough so don’t try to trick me. How is this a cucumber? It’s a tree… eh?”

Even as he complained, the tree was bearing fruit.

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Jiang He remembered the attributes of the cucumber then…

“Short maturing cycle…. But what do you mean, short? This is really too short!”

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Then, another half an hour later—

[Ding!]

[Crop has matured. Host, please harvest your crops at once.]

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Indeed, 99 cucumbers were hanging over the branches of the tree.

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Each of those cucumbers were twice the size of normal cucumbers and more than thirty centimeters of long, each of which were golden and emanating a special sweet scent.

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Jiang He glanced at one, and a series of information appeared before his eyes just as he expected:

[Cucumber]

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“Rich in protein, and vitamins B2, C and E, carotene, niacin, calcium, phosphorus, iron and other nutrients. Clears body heat, detoxes, strengthens mind and eases nerves, improving overall health.”

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“…”

“Clears body heat, detoxes, strengthens mind and eases nerves, improving overall health?”

“Normal cucumbers have such effects, don’t they?”

[Ding!]

[Farm Points +1]

Jiang He plucked one of the cucumbers, held it in front of his nose and sniffed it.

The sweet scent was thick, which was quite similar to a ripe melon.

“But even if there are no special effects, this cucumber could sell for a dozen bucks each in appearance alone. Or more if it tastes good!”

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Jiang He therefore took a bite.

Chomp.

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It was crispy, sweet, and fragrant.

In fact, Jiang He felt more invigorated from that single bite, and even had the vague feeling that his strength had slightly increased!

Chomp, chomp!

The single cucumber that weighed over two catties was just so tasty.

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With one bite after another, Jiang He had finished it entirely in no time at all.

He felt recharged in spirit, with unlimited vigor overflowing in his body. His fists were cracking even as he clenched them and he felt like he could kill an ox with a single punch.

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“I’m much stronger now!”

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He glanced at the System.

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[Cultivation] had not actually changed, but Jiang He could clearly feel the difference in his body—it was not only in strength either, but an increase in every aspect of his body.

“Aside from the change in his physical aspects, I feel more energized, my mind clearer, and my thinking quicker… maybe strengthening mind and ease nerves meant improving my spirit?”

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“As for clearing body heat and detoxing… could it really work as an antidote?”

Jiang He had a vague theory just then.

“I remember that there’s still a pack of rat poison in the house… should I try?”

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“Uh…”

“It’ll be horrible if I can’t get to the hospital in time if my theory is wrong. Still, the village chief’s dog is famously fierce and for scaring little kids, even mauling ‘me’ and biting off my butt…”

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Jiang He hence plucked off the remaining ninety-eight cucumbers and stuffed them into his backpack. The icon of a cucumber hence appearing in one of the boxes, with the number 98 appearing behind it.

So, this little thing actually stacks.

[Ding!]

[Farm points +1]

[Ding!]

[Farm points +1]

Jiang He was also rewarded with one farm point with each cucumber he plucked. Then, after he had harvested the last cucumber, the entire ‘cucumber tree’ rumbled and began to rapidly wither, reduced to a pile of black ashes.

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Jiang He got a shovel and sprinkled the ashes around the orchard, since that stuff was a natural fertilizer.

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The skies were already dark by then.

Jiang He touched his belly…

“It’s already dark, I should have dinner… burp!”

He took another cucumber and gobbled it after a few crunches. He felt so stuffed he could hardly stand, with his muscles and bones cracking audibly in this body.

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Jiang He could clearly feel his strength rising rapidly.

He also seemed to grow a little taller in no time at all.

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His knuckles thundered when he clenched his fists.

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He could even feel a faint rush of wind when he punched the air.

He glanced at the System.

[Cultivation: Quasi Martial Artist]

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“???”

Rubbing his belly, Jiang He complained, “Why is cultivation so hard? My stomach almost burst open and I’m not even a Martial Artist yet?”

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To move around a bit, Jiang He combed through his house and eventually found the pack of Rat Away.

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Despite coming in a tiny package, it was surprisingly toxic.

It would kill an ox!

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Locking his door, Jiang He left his yard.

The village road was just outside.

Jinyintan Village was nearby the city—just a dozen minutes away, and the village itself was raised as a ‘prosperous village’, with most villagers living in bright and spacious Xibei-style red brick-tiled houses.

Jiang He’s own three old houses were supposed to be renovated come spring as well, with the village affording him up to forty thousand dollars of ‘decrepit house renovation fund’.

Outside his yard, the even, hard road was connected to every house, with green trees and road lights raised on both sides.

And soon enough, Jiang He arrived outside the village chief’s house, which had a very wide yard as well. He had eight red-tiled houses, and it was rumored that the construction costs up to eight hundred thousand dollars, each having a big red door that was over two meters tall and three meters wide.

“Eh? The door’s locked?”

Jiang He knocked several times but there was no response.

Still, it was normal if the village chief couldn’t hear him knocking since it was over twenty meters between his room and the door, although the dog in the yard was already barking.

It was a fierce dog which had once bit ‘Jiang He’.

“No, wait. I’m here to poison a dog, why am I knocking on the front door?”

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“Can’t I just get a piece of meat, stuff it with rat poison and dump it in the yard?”

Jiang He hence made a trip to the butcher shop on the edge of the village and bought two catties of beef, even asking the butcher to cut it into tiny pieces.

He then went to a dark corner and stuff the rat poison into a chunk of meat and then…

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Whoosh.

He had thrown it into the yard. He could hear the dog bark several times before whimpering…

Then came the sounds of chewing and gobbling.

Jiang He lit a cigarette as he sat outside and waited.

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Soon enough, the dog was crying out weirdly, soon followed by the village chief’s flustered voice that echoed throughout the night air. “Dumbo, what happened to you?”

Dumbo was the name of his dog.

Tut, tut… talk about strange tastes.

Jiang He hence got up and rushed to the village chief’s door, shouting, “Are you alright, Chief Wang?”

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‘Eh…

‘Wait, isn’t this wrong?

‘I’m the one who threw in the poison… aren’t I walking right into the trap?

‘And after throwing out that piece of meat, wouldn’t it be a waste if I can’t test if the cucumber works as an antidote?’

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