Doomed to be Cannon Fodder Chapter 51: Restless, Nosebleed

Index

Chapter 51: Restless, Nosebleed

Chapter 52: Eloped, Ruined Reputation

Chapter 53: Rumormongering, Mistress Looks for Trouble

Chapter 56: Grievances

Chapter 59: Trouble, Hacking At Someone

Chapter 60: Decisive, Establish Prestige and Lecturing Others

Notes

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Chapter 51: Restless, Nosebleedtop

By Fantasy Magician (@fantasymagician)

Ye Mama: Madame… reporting from winter garden! Old Madame: *rub her hands* any progress in grandchildren project of mine? Ye Mama: *grin awkwardly*This servant is unsure, but our prince sent a bolt of lacy satin for Madam Xiu to make clothes. Old Madame: *Laugh*… Didn’t you say it’s Long Heng who needs a teacher on bedroom matter? Who knows he could be so… Ye Mama: This old woman thinks the word madame is looking for is ‘kinky’ Old madame: As expected of ‘experienced’ woman!

Later… Long Heng couldn’t help but wonder why his mother couldn’t stop smiling at him, or why he felt the urge to plead innocence.

Chapter 52: Eloped, Ruined Reputationtop

By Diantha (@disqus_d1qqNPsbkr)

Somewhere far off in the distant woods:

Miss Lin: Hmph! He still hasn’t come! It is as the rumors say! He is cold and uncaring! That kind-hearted and gentle consort must have been deceived by him! Too despicable! Oh, noble freedom fighters (bandits)! Let’s go and rescue this kind consort from his evil hands! To the rescue!

And thus our ML is forced to give chase to rescue his beloved consort from the clutches of the evil wife.

Meanwhile in the city:

Madame Song: *gasps* kidnapped? Son, you must go and help! You absolutely MUST rescue my chef, erm, help your best friend find his women!

2nd ML: As you wish, mother. For my friend. Definitely. *stares off into the distance*

Our poor MC: Huo’er……!

By Fantasy Magician (@fantasymagician)

Miss Lin: I want to run away, the estate and prince are fine with just you madame Bai!

Xiangxiu: But a legal wife running away is not fine, madame!

Miss Lin: You can’t stop me!

Xiangxiu: *sigh* I know I can’t stop you, but can you please carry this? *shove a gift or sort with Huou’er’s thorn

Few days later…

Xiangxiu: Prince… uhm… I think I know where’s princess is now. Somewhere-

Long Heng: No need to know.

Xiangxiu: Prince, you already know?

Long Heng: *sigh* I don’t… but if she don’t want to come back, it’s her business.

Xiangxiu: *why the plot go awry again?!* But… it would bring shame-

Long Heng: It’s already her forth time, I can’t bring myself to care and beside… you’re the one who manage the household dear, not her.

Xiangxiu: But!

Old madame couldn’t help but wonder why this concubine is so devoted and too proper, after all it’s not everyday a concubine is the one looking hagard for the missing official wife when her son ‘the husband’ couldn’t bring himself to care.

Long Heng in a sense have a change of character here because, now that he has Bai Xiangxiu who has faith in his noble reputation… he doesn’t feel the need to chase after FL. Bai Xiangxiu didn’t even notice that because the male lead is comparing her and FL, Miss Lin looks like a shallow girl. Then again she is young and never has heart to heart talk with male lead. It’s like comparing polished diamond with a rough one.

Not to mention with Bai Xiangxiu’s hardwork in managing the household, Long Heng of course feels he shouldn’t bother with female lead. She looks like a lot of pain to manage.

This is what would happen if she did marry to the house

Bai Xiangxiu: *Speedy accounting* Now you try princess, from now on it’s your duty to manage the household.

Miss Lin: Uhm… you can keep the job, miss Bai!

Bai Xiangxiu: But-

Apparently talented woman is not equal talented housewife.

Chapter 53: Rumormongering, Mistress Looks for Troubletop

By Fantasy Magician (@fantasymagician)

Miss Lin: *Stare at Bai Xianxiu* Sigh, you’re so beautiful like a fairy miss Bai.

Xiangxiu: *began to sweat* thank you? You’re very beautiful as well, Miss Lin.

Miss Lin: *Lower her gaze to Xiangxiu’s boobs* With all curves in the right place *gulp*

Xiangxiu: Uhm…thank you? *smile*

Miss Lin: Excuse me then! *Shove her head to marshmallow heaven* Aah~~ ???? so soft! I am so jealous of Prince Li!

Xiangxiu: Kyaa! Miss Lin, where are you- *girlish shriek* we’re both women! And we’re married to Prince-ah-Li!

Miss Lin: Don’t be so stingy, and it’s the more reason I can enjoy these babies… it’s unfair Prince get to hog them.

Xiangxiu: I want to go hoooooooooooome!!!

By solomaize (@solomaize)

The ML paralyzed in the corner in a pool of blood from a nosebleed.

Chapter 56: Grievancestop

By Fantasy Magician (@fantasymagician)

Long Heng was currently feeling jealous on behalf of a group of pitiful and clueless people. And it’s just about time the virgin war god gets overboard as he has no clue how to vent.

Servant A: Hey, perhaps it’s just me but lately the prince is a bit…

Servant B: Our master is a man to fear indeed. (T_T)

Servant A: Yes, but he usually just ignore us unless he need us for something but I am getting chills lately around Prince Lin! And I swear from time to time I feel his glare on my back! (°□°)/

Servant C: You too?! What do we do to displease him? We did our best according to Madame Bai’s intruction and Old madame is pleased, why not Prince Li?

Servant A: I am not so sure…

Pay day…

Madame Bai: Line up everyone…

Servants: *Aah… to see fairy like Madame Bai closely make pay day

sweeter.* (*´▽｀*)

Jiiiiiiiii ಠ_ಠ

Servants: *Why the prince is here?! And why is he glaring at us?!!!*

Madame Bai: You look unwell, is it cold? You can take a leave and medical fee. *It’s just common sense to give sick leave to ill employee*

Prince Li: *I am so jealous.*

His glare intensifies…

Servants: *Prince! Spare us!* (／ロ°)／

By Diantha (@disqus_d1qqNPsbkr)

LY returns to steal Miss Lin away. LH intervenes, a fight ensues.

BXX: Stop fighting!

Miss Lin: I swear, men are so violent! Stop fighting! One of you will just get hurt again!

LH: *huffs* thanks to you.

BXX: What!? It’s your fault he got hurt?

Miss Lin: What? He was about to stab LY!

BXX: So you let him stab LH instead?! How dare you!

Miss Lin + BXX: A hissy cat fight breaks out.

LY: Ladies…?

LH: You know…You want her. I don’t. Maybe we could reach some agreement..?

Bandit Leader: Yes, but first we have to stop them before they tear each other to shreds. I swear, women are so bloodthirsty.

Virgin War God: Agreed.

Chapter 59: Trouble, Hacking At Someonetop

By Diantha (@disqus_d1qqNPsbkr)

LH: “Am I easy to approach for you?”

Concubines: *sweating* “Absolutely, my lord!”

LH: “So you think I am that easy to get to? To manipulate?”

Concubines: “No, Sir! We did not mean it like that at all!”

LH: “So you DO think that I am difficult to approach?”

Concubines: *crying* “Like an impenetrable fortress, lord!”

LH: “Jiiiiiii ಠ_ಠ” “*death stare*”

Concubines: “Shall we just go and kill ourselves, lord?”

By Fantasy Magician (@fantasymagician)

He was her man, who would be scared of getting intimate with their man? Apparently his concubine, Bai Xiangxiu does.

Prince Li: Shu’er… about nee Bai

Shu’ er: *Shudder* Yes, my prince?

Prince Li: Why is she so hesitant to get intimate with her own husband?

Shu’ er: That’s… *Looks at Long Heng, a strong military man Vs Madame Bai, the frail fairy maiden* this servant can see why. *Her servants also fret about this too.*

Prince Li: Oh? Enlighten me then.

Shu’er: *Shudder, he shouldn’t say that.* Erm, Prince Li is a strong man so-

Prince Li: *confused* Usually woman likes their man strong, don’t they?

Shu’er: They do but… that’s not what this servant meant…*For Prince’ sake* BUT! Madame Bai is such a frail maiden, so even us(servants) are worried if she could take you.

Prince Li: …

Shu’er: *soul flies from his body* I am so dead, he thought

Prince Li: Take what?

Shu’er: *This virgin master of mine! I have to start from there?!*

Somewhere near in hiding…

Ye Mama: Good Luck, Shu’er! Enlighten your master or I will ask madame to replace you with ‘experienced’ man!

Xiao Shi: Uhm… maybe we should ask the kitchen to nourish Mistress body some more.

Ye Mama: You think old madame could wait that long?

XIao shi: Erm…

He didn’t know where to begin with this woman, her thoughts never seemed to be on the same page as him.

By Who cares (@disqus_9Jh0tuyTwk)

BX: so you came to kill the person responsible for your wifes death, right?

BL: Yes

BX: Why are you still alive then?

BX: Starts a 3 chapter lecture on personal responsibility.

Chapter 60: Decisive, Establish Prestige and Lecturing Otherstop

By Fantasy Magician (@fantasymagician)

Bai Xiangxiu’s honest monologue in this chapter…

“I thought the senior madame has some brain, but apparently not… no wonder Prince Li avoid these concubines in novel. I just hand over one problem for Senior Madame to solve and in two days she manage to ruin a family, get a poor old woman killed and now I get a crazy old man waving a knife and out for Senior madame’s life… Old madame toss this hot potato to me and I feel my hands is already burning. Aah… I want to quit already but I have to hug her thigh to survive!”

Everyone else:

“Madame Bai looks heartbroken over this tragedy…”

“A sad beauty is quite a picture!”

“What are we doing here again?”

“Watching her is a feast, forget the tragedy show!”

In winter courtyard

Long Heng: I have a feeling I should have follow her… and rip some eyes off.