Kumo Desu ga, Nani ka? Volume Chapter 11

Teacher.

For us reincarnations, that word can refer to only one person.

We were all reborn in this world after an explosion in our classroom.

The class we were in at the time was classical literature.

And the one teaching us at the time was none other than Ms. Kanami Okazaki.

Aside from me, she’s the only reincarnation who wasn’t a student.

And she ran into Mr. Oni.

That’s fine in theory. The problem is the place and circumstances under which they met and, more importantly, our teacher’s race.

Mr. Oni found her supporting the rebel army.

That’s already a red flag, but on top of that, she was an elf of all races?

Elves—yes, the same race as Potimas.

No waaay.

The biggest “no waaay” ever.

That’s no good!

If you think about it, or even if you don’t think about it, that’s totally bad news!

The whole thing seems ridiculous, but we can’t just ignore it, either.

No wonder the Demon Lord said this situation is “troublesome”!

I figured any situation that she’d find troublesome would be related to either the elves or reincarnations, but I never imagined it’d be two for the price of one!

According to Mr. Oni, she got away from him.

While they were talking, elf cyborg freaks attacked him, and she was picked up and dragged away by some other elf.

And our teacher was nowhere to be found among the rebel soldiers we captured.

In fact, there wasn’t a single elf among them, period.

They must’ve all died or escaped.

It seems strange that we didn’t manage to capture a single one, so we suspect that the ones who were in danger of being overrun might’ve killed themselves.

Maybe they were told to die rather than fall into enemy hands?

That sounds like something Potimas would say, all right, but it’s even scarier that the elves would actually obey him.

But I guess dead guys aren’t really important right now.

Apparently, the surviving elves have regrouped and are trying to escape from demon territory.

Makes sense. They did get to the northern town using the teleport gate, after all.

Now that the other end of that has gone KABOOM thanks to my Meteor, they can’t get back the way they came, meaning there’s no choice but to escape on foot.

Although even if it was intact, they wouldn’t have any way of reaching it with the whole town now under the Demon Lord’s army’s control.

But one does not simply walk out of the demon territory.

First of all, there’s no way a bunch of elves can travel around here without being spotted. They’ll have to resupply eventually, so it’d be virtually impossible to escape without interacting with any demons.

I don’t know how far word has spread that the elves were supporting the rebel army, but if that piece of information hits the streets, people will be on the lookout.

Thing is, since there’s no Internet or anything in this world, information travels pretty slowly.

Which also explains why the elves are moving south so fast: They’re planning to run as far as they can before word gets out about them.

But there’s still a pretty big distance between the northern town and the border with the human realm.

There’s no way they can cross that distance without the help of any demons.

And even if they manage to reach the border, things only get tougher from there.

The demons and humans have been staring each other down at the border for years now.

Their relationship is so bad that anyone trying to cross the border might very well be killed, no questions asked.

Assuming they make it across the border, there’s a really good chance they’ll get killed by humans.

There are certain parts of the border where it’s easier to cross, but they’re all guarded by big ol’ fortresses built by the humans.

There’s no way they’re slipping past that.

So why don’t they just avoid those areas?

Oh, if only life were so simple.

First of all, we can rule out all the areas with really annoying terrain, the biggest example being the Mystic Mountains that we crossed to get here.

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No normal people could ever make it through there alive.

Then there are the places that don’t have proper roads but are still theoretically options.

The thing is, there are bandits in those areas.

More specifically, they’re basically groups of human government–sanctioned highwaymen.

They kill and steal just like your average bandit, but they actually have permission from the human empire to do this looting.

You wouldn’t think a government would want to allow any bandits, but you’d be wrong.

These guys are contributing to their national defense, see: They lie in wait on these backwater roads that the government can’t fully control, and they defeat any would-be intruders from the demon realm.

They live around these checkpoints, create moving settlements that search for prey, steal whatever they can from intruders they stumble upon, and even get compensation from the government.

So while they’re basically just thugs, they do manage to help secure the border against incursions from the demon realm.

In other words, if the elves try to escape along any of these routes, they’ll get shaken down by these government-backed crooks.

Sure, the elves might be able to fight them off, but these guys are surprisingly strong, since they make their living off killing intruders.

I don’t know if the exhausted elves will stand much chance of victory after traipsing their way across demon lands.

If they lose, they’ll all be killed, and even if they win, I bet they’d take some major losses.

By the way, there’d be no negotiating or anything, either.

These guys are bandits at heart. If they notice prey passing by, they’re bound to attack.

It’d be hard enough to convince them to consider a deal, and even if they did manage to get that far, I’m sure any talks would fall apart quickly.

Why, you ask? Because it’s these guys’ whole job to kill anyone who wanders in from demon lands.

Their country pays them to do it, and they must take some degree of pride in their job.

They’re protecting humanity from the demons’ invasions, you know?

Even if what they’re doing is almost indistinguishable from plain old banditry!

So they’ll target anyone and everyone coming from demon territory, elf or not.

Besides, demons and humans don’t even look all that different.

No matter who comes out of the demon territory, they’re just gonna kill ’em!

Elves?

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They came from the demon territory, so they must be allies of the demons, right?

Kill ’em!

That’s how it’s gonna play out.

What I’m trying to say here is that Ms. Oka and the other elves have a preeeetty low chance of making it out of the demon realm alive.

So low that if you compared it to a pro baseball player’s batting average, it’d be insulting to the player!

Not that I care what happens to the other elves besides Ms. Oka.

But unfortunately, we’re gonna need them to get out alive as well.

Wouldn’t it be simpler to just place Ms. Oka under guard, you ask?

Yeah, I thought about that, too.

But there’s a reason we can’t do that.

Which means we have to indirectly help Ms. Oka and company get out of the demon territory.

At least, that’s the snap decision I came to as I listened to Mr. Oni’s information and used a Detection-like technique to track Ms. Oka down.

“So that’s the gist of it. What should we do?”

Once Mr. Oni finishes his explanation, the Demon Lord turns to me.

Gotta say, it’s pretty impressive that I’d already found Ms. Oka and figured out a plan by the time she asked me that.

“I’ll handle it.”

I make a quick declaration.

There’s no time like the present, so I put my plan into action right away.

First, I need to go to the person I’ve chosen to escort the elves to the border. The best possible man for the job.

Naturally, that’s the lord who’s in charge of the demon side of the human-demon border: the Colonel himself.

Boy, that Colonel is a tough customer.

Yep, that’s right.

I just put the Colonel in charge of supporting the elves!

Ugh, it was super-hard to explain.

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“Elves.” “Running from the rebel army.” “They’ll pass through here.” “Heading to the human territory.” “Help them.”

It took a whole lot of work for me to relay all that information.

Since he responded with a question right away, I wound up giving him a kind of weird answer, but it seems like he accepted that response for whatever reason.

Good on ya, Colonel.

So dependable.

I mean, I put a whole lot of pressure on him, but he never lost his cool.

Pretty crazy.

It definitely seemed like my thinly veiled threat got through to him, so he must be a fairly sharp guy.

I managed to send the message of I know you’re the mastermind behind the rebel army without actually saying it out loud, and he understood.

He’s certainly a whole lot more useful than the three small-fry he was manipulating.

Compared to them, Mr. Warkis was a much bigger deal.

Heh-heh-heh.

I wouldn’t just get my whole squad of mini-mes together to glare at him for no reason, y’know?

It was to convey the message that he’s being watched and that we know what he’s been up to, too.

Why would I do it in such a roundabout way, you ask?

To reduce the amount of things I actually have to say out loud, obviously.

Please figure it out so I don’t have to say it.

That was the earnest wish behind my gesture.

And the Colonel was smart enough to make it come true, so I’m very happy.

In actuality, I’m the only one who knows the Colonel was the mastermind behind the rebellion.

He hasn’t left behind a single scrap of proof.

He sent only his most trusted subordinates to infiltrate the other armies and acted through them.

It must have taken years to lay all that groundwork, but you can do that kind of thing when you live as long as a demon.

And he used that groundwork to manipulate several commanders into raising an entire rebel army.

What’s really impressive about the Colonel is that not even once did he directly involve himself, and he even managed to make the commanders think they were acting on their own initiative.

I doubt I could pull off anything like that.

It’s a delicate art that involves a deep understanding of people’s natures, thorough calculations, and an extremely careful balancing act of various moving parts.

When I put it that way, it makes me wonder if even Potimas was manipulated into making a move by the Colonel.

In fact, he probably was. A genius strategist like the Colonel would definitely realize that demons alone can’t defeat the Demon Lord.

At least, not without some outside help in the form of Potimas.

The Colonel planned to coerce Potimas into acting under cover of the rebel army’s movements and set him up to clash with the Demon Lord.

I shudder to think what would’ve happened if he had succeeded.

It’s a bold move that puts the heart of the plan in the hands of an outsider.

Actually, it’s possible that even the demons getting the elves to help them rebuild might have been due to the Colonel’s machinations.

Potimas can be surprisingly gullible. If you buttered him up just right, or promised to owe him a debt or something, or suggested that the demons would need more power to fight the humans, he might very well agree to help.

Like, if you really think about it, it’d probably be more efficient to put that energy to work elsewhere, so there’s not really any deep reason for the elves to help the demons.

That makes it even more likely that the Colonel might have used his silver tongue to motivate Potimas to send aid.

And if he was able to do that, I’m sure he could get Potimas to support the rebel army, too.

The Colonel’s got some frightening abilities, even if they’re the kind that aren’t reflected in his skills.

If I didn’t have the dirty trick known as my mini-me information network, I would never have guessed that the Colonel was pulling the strings.

But it looks like after this little incident, he realizes that there’s no point trying to rebel against the Demon Lord. And if someone that talented is going to cooperate with us, they’ll be a huge asset.

Bringing him on to our side is certainly a lot more efficient than executing him.

I’ll be keeping an eye on him to make sure he doesn’t try anything funny, of course.

But yeah, I put the Colonel in charge of helping Ms. Oka and company.

He’s probably got ties to Potimas anyway, so it won’t seem too unnatural if he helps the elves in secret.

And those elves are in a major pinch right now, so they’ll take any help that’s offered for sure.

It’s not a trap anyway. We’re actually helping them, so we really need them to accept it.

At any rate, they’ll be safe for the rest of their stay in the demon lands.

I still have to do something about the border, but it’ll take a while for Ms. Oka and friends to get there.

And meanwhile, there’s something else I have to do.

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Namely, I gotta go file a complaint.

I teleport into midair.

And then: It’s dropkick time, baby!

But my target must have known I was coming, because there’s no one there by the time I come down.

The momentum of my kick sends me crashing into the wall, and my foot goes right through it, getting stuck there.

…I feel like something eerily similar happened to me very recently, but that must be my imagination.

You won’t catch this lady dwelling on the past!

“Welcome. I wish you’d enter a little more quietly, though.”

The owner of the room admonishes me for my unusual way of making an entrance.

But I ignore her complaint as I pull my foot out of the wall.

What, the cost of repairs?

Like hell I’m paying for that!

Refusing to look at the hole I just made, I come face-to-face with the master of the house.

Aside from the different color scheme, she could be my mirror image.

Needless to say, it’s the original to my copy, the creator of the system in the other world: the god called D, who is now staring back at me expressionlessly.

Then she cheerfully turns away and un-pauses her game.

I guess she must have paused it in order to dodge my dropkick.

The sheer level of disrespect drives me mad, so I grab her shoulder, turn her toward me, and lift her by the collar with both hands.

You know, that classic move you see in TV dramas and stuff.

The difference being that my strength is enhanced with conjuring, so I end up lifting D’s whole body into the air.

Yeah, I can do stuff like that if I enhance my arm strength with conjuring.

Maybe this’ll show you how mad I am!!

But then I hear a weird noise, like a ripping, popping noise, and the weight in my hands suddenly gets a lot lighter.

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Huh? I take a look and discover that D’s clothes have gotten all torn up.

Oh. Yeah, I guess that makes sense.

D doesn’t weigh much, but if you put all the weight of one person on a single piece of cloth, obviously it’s gonna rip no matter how light that person is…

And since her clothes ripped, I’m no longer holding up D herself, so she drops down.

With the giant rip in her clothing, you can see all kinds of things, but D’s expression doesn’t change in the slightest.

If she was to blush a little with embarrassment or something, this could be kind of a cute situation, but since she’s completely expressionless, it’s more scary than sexy.

This is probably what it’d feel like if you happened to lay eyes on a butt-naked mannequin in the middle of the night.

“C’mon—at least act a little embarrassed.”

“I have no reason to be ashamed of anyone seeing my body. I believe I am the most beautiful person in the world, if I do say so myself.”

Wow, that was a really narcissistic thing to say so casually.

Uhhh… Well, okay then.

This weird situation is kind of draining me of all my anger.

I heave a sigh, arbitrarily grab some clothes out of the closet, and toss them at D. (Since I have a portion of D’s memories in my brain, I know the layout of this room.)

D catches the clothes, strips off her ruined outfit, and changes into the new one.

“Wanna play?”

And THAT’S what she decides to say next.

She’s so laid-back that it’s taking the wind out of my sails, dammit!

This isn’t gonna work. I slump my shoulders, giving up in various ways.

I knew from the start that complaining to D about things wouldn’t actually make a difference in the end, since she’s so much stronger than I am, but somehow this is going even worse than I thought it would.

It’s not even a matter of strength—she just has a way of making you feel like nothing you say matters.

Even if we manage to have a conversation, I always get the sense that I’m not gonna get through to her.

In fact, it’s probably impossible, which just proves all over again that normal rules don’t apply to D.

Emotionally speaking, I don’t know if you could even consider her a living thing.

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“No. I came today to file a complaint.”

I know it won’t accomplish anything, but I still have to do what I came here to do.

“About Ms. Okazaki, I presume. I was actually looking forward to the two of you meeting, so I’m quite disappointed that you wound up learning about her through hearsay. Couldn’t you have met in a more dramatic way? If anything, I’d like to file a complaint myself.”

“Who cares?!”

Why do you get to have such weird expectations of me and then get weirdly let down when they don’t happen?!

I had no idea where Ms. Oka was or what she was doing, so how was I supposed to put on such a dramatic reunion?!

Plus, if I did somehow know beforehand, it wouldn’t be dramatic anymore!

People talk about fateful encounters and once-in-a-lifetime meetings and all that, but in reality, that kinda thing doesn’t normally happen so dramatically!

While I’m steaming with rage, D reaches for a bag of potato chips next to her and struggles momentarily before she manages to open it.

You’ve gotta stop being so laid-back already!

I snatch the bag out of D’s hands and devour its contents in one bite.

This is a trick I figured out recently: using spatial conjuring to sort of re-create the Demon Lord’s Gluttony skill.

Of course, since I’ve got such a small stomach in this body, I only actually ate a mouthful. I sent the rest to my mini-mes.

Oh man, it’s been ages—no, wait, this is actually the first time I’ve really had potato chips in my life. They’re sooo good.

I do have memories of eating them as Hiiro Wakaba, but those were really just fabricated memories D gave me.

In reality, I would never have actually had a chance to eat potato chips in my old life.

You know, since I was a spider.

Her potato chips stolen, D shrugs exaggeratedly in a weirdly American What am I gonna do with you? kind of gesture.

Still expressionless, of course.

Ugh, now what do I do? She’s really pissing me off.

I want to punch that expressionless face of hers.

“Didn’t you come here to ask me why I made your teacher an elf?”

Yeah! Right, that!

I came to file a complaint so D would explain why she made Ms. Oka an elf, of all things!

D is the one who had us all reincarnated in a new world.

In other words, Ms. Oka being an elf is a deliberate choice made by none other than D herself.

Humans and demons are fine.

Even vampires, too, I guess.

Monsters like Mr. Oni and me, well… I guess we’ll call that a pitch that’s just barely in the safe zone, for argument’s sake.

But elves? Elves are definitely out!

We’re talking elves here, you know? The race that’s basically been enslaved by Potimas.

No, in a way, it might even be worse than that. Whether they know it or not, all elves are Potimas’s pawns, his puppets.

It’s obviously messed up to reincarnate someone as one of those!

“The reason should be obvious. Because it seemed more entertaining that way.”

There it is. D’s classic excuse for everything.

“Elves play a very important role in that world, you know. So it only seems fitting that at least one of our major players ought to be an elf, don’t you think?”

No, I don’t!

’Cause anyone who gets born an elf—in this case, Ms. Oka—is just gonna be miserable.

But I guess to someone like D, who uses an entire world as her plaything, a single individual being unhappy doesn’t mean much.

If anything, she seems to take pleasure in it.

“And it’s all the more entertaining if the elves somehow know about the reincarnations. So in order to keep things extra fun, I gave her a very interesting skill.”

I can already tell this skill isn’t gonna be anything good.

And boy, am I right on the money.

“The skill I gave her is called Student Roster. It gives her partial information on the other reincarnations.”

What?

Whaaaat?!

Wait. Wait just a second.

What does that mean exactly?

Are you telling me Potimas came after Vampy and stuff like that by exploiting that skill?

“I know what you’re thinking, and you’re right.”

Ugh! Are you reading my mind?!

“I’m not reading your mind. I just predicted your thoughts.”

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True enough, I don’t feel any traces of some kind of technique being used.

She must have just figured out what conclusions I would reach, rather than using a mind-reading power.

Although that’s plenty scary in its own way.

“Yes. The elf’s actions far exceeded my expectations. I never imagined he would manage to gather a majority of the reincarnations.”

Huh?

W-w-wait a minute!

What? Wait, run that by me again!

Excuse me? Are you for real?!

I’m so shocked that my vocabulary is failing me, but I can’t worry about that right now.

“What do you mean?!”

“Exactly what I said. Although I won’t be telling you how he plans to use the reincarnations he’s gathered, of course. This is all top secret information that I’m sharing as a kindness to you because of the special nature of our relationship, all right?”

She’s leaving out the most important details, but knowing Potimas, whatever he’s planning can’t be good.

On top of that, she makes it sound like she’s being super-nice, as if to say I should be grateful, but I know she’s telling me this only because it’ll be more amusing this way.

That’s just how D is.

“She’s a sensible adult, and she feels a certain responsibility toward her students. So what do you think would happen if I gave such a model teacher a Student Roster skill that, for instance, predicted the deaths of her students?”

Ugh! Only an evil god would invent such a ridiculous skill!

If she sees something like that, of course Ms. Oka is going to try to do something to prevent those deaths.

If I were in her shoes, I would just ignore the list. But she’s a sensible Japanese woman and a teacher to boot, so she’d make every effort to save her students’ lives.

And I can definitely picture Potimas using that to his advantage to plot something nasty.

Dammit.

This is awful. Ms. Oka’s situation is even worse than I thought.

In the words of a certain magical girl, that’s cruel… That’s just too cruel!

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But seriously, this is not good.

“So noble, isn’t it? She’s braving danger to travel all over the world for the sake of her students even though she’s in the body of a child herself. And then she’s placing the students she’s trying to save right in the hands of the last person she should trust. The poor thing.”

“Ugh! Damn you!”

That statement puts me past the point of annoyance into straight-up anger.

But just as I raise my fist to strike her—

“Do you have any idea why you’re so concerned for Ms. Oka in particular?”

—D’s words freeze me in place.

What the hell is she talking about?

That’s obvious, isn’t it?

“You don’t get nearly as bothered when other reincarnations meet with misfortune—is that fair to say?”

That’s not…not true, I guess.

“No, you don’t. Even when you learned that there were other reincarnations, you didn’t worry about them unless they happened across your path. The fact that you haven’t started searching for them even now that you’re a god is proof enough of that. You’re willing to lend a hand to the reincarnations you meet, whether it’s the vampire or the oni, but that’s only within reason. You won’t abandon them, but you won’t go out of your way to help them, even with all that power of yours. You sympathize with their situations, but you don’t get angry on their behalf. So why are you this upset only about Ms. Oka’s circumstances?”

Do you really need to ask?

It’s because, erm… Wait…why do I care so much about her?

Because it seems like a crime against humanity?

No, I can’t claim such a high-and-mighty reason.

I’m not even human in the first place, so I don’t really have those kinds of feelings.

Like D said, I’m not really that interested in the other reincarnations.

I feel a certain kinship with them, so I try to help them if I happen to see them, but that’s about it.

I’m involved with Vampy and Mr. Oni only because we happened to run into each other.

If coincidence hadn’t brought us together, I doubt I would’ve gone out of my way looking for them.

If I hadn’t met Vampy back then, and she had gotten killed by Potimas, I would’ve just thought Oh, huh if I found out.

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Now, of course, I have a degree of fondness for her, since we’ve been together for so long, and I’d probably fly into a fit of rage if she got killed.

But that’s only because we met and formed a deeper bond.

If a reincarnation I’ve never met dies, I don’t really feel a thing.

And while I technically know Ms. Oka’s circumstances now, we haven’t actually spoken face-to-face, so I can’t say I’ve met her exactly, much less formed a bond.

And yet, I’m so mad that I came all the way here to complain to D.

It’s not just because a reincarnation was born as an elf, landing her straight in the clutches of our sworn enemy Potimas.

If it was anyone but Ms. Oka, I’m sure I would’ve just been like Ugh! D’s at it again! but I wouldn’t have come running to file a complaint.

No, it’s because it’s Ms. Oka.

I’m here because of her.

“How entertaining. How very, very entertaining. You don’t have many memories of being a spider, so in theory, you shouldn’t remember any debts or anything of the sort. Perhaps this one imprinted onto your soul? Consider me thoroughly amused.”

Yeah, that’s right.

I don’t really remember much about being an ordinary spider in my previous life.

But if I combine what little I do remember with Hiiro Wakaba’s memories, there’s one thing I can’t ignore.

“Yikes! A huge spider!”

“Oh man, gross. Grab the broom. I’m gonna crush it.”

A group of boys came to school and tried to crush me when they spotted my web in the classroom.

Hiiro Wakaba, aka D, simply watched in silence.

“Wait a minute, boooys!”

But then Ms. Oka came rushing over.

“Eeeven this little insect has a soul. It would be cruel to kill it, you know!”

“Oh, come on…”

The male student froze, broom still in hand.

“Listen to me, okaaay? A spider is a good bug, you knooow? They eat the other bad buuugs. Besides, look how cuuute they are!”

“Cute? Yeah, right…”

The boy complained, but he reluctantly heeded Ms. Oka’s words.

“None of you better kill the poor thing, either, okaaay?”

“Yeah, yeah.”

“Isn’t that niiice? Live your life to the fullest, too, okaaay, little spider?”

That’s right.

It was because of that incident that I was allowed to live in the classroom.

That’s the reason I survived.

Ms. Oka…saved my life.

That memory is one from Hiiro Wakaba’s perspective, not a memory from my life as a spider.

But even if I don’t remember it, my soul remembers that I owe her a debt.

Which means I have to do something to repay her.

A life for a life.

“Just as a reminder, anything you might try to do to me won’t change your dear teacher’s situation, hmm?”

“Yeah, I know.”

But it’s the principle of the thing.

My fist that I’d stopped just short of impact flies forward and punches D right in the face!

In fact, the punch is so powerful that it blasts her whole head off.

“Do you feel better now?”

But as soon as I withdraw my arm, D’s head reconstitutes like time is rewinding itself.

Um, gross!

What kinda freakish recovery method is that?

Even I’m a little grossed out.

And the tiny glimpse of D’s magic power that leaked out in the instant of regeneration is more than enough to terrify me.

Her presence is so powerful, it’s like she’s exuding death itself.

D calls herself an evil god, but honestly, even that doesn’t do her justice.

I’m sure she could kill me in the blink of an eye if she felt like it.

Revival through clones? Yeah, that definitely wouldn’t matter if D killed me.

In that one instant, that much became perfectly clear.

But the terrifying aura disappears as quickly as it came.

“Oh no. I messed up. I’m sure I must have been noticed just now.”

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D murmurs something I don’t quite understand.

“…?”

“Oh, don’t worry about it. Just some personal business.”

Well, D has always been mysterious. And if she’s telling me not to worry about it, I’m sure doing so wouldn’t get me anywhere anyway.

“I’m going to save Ms. Oka.”

“Go right ahead. I’m just an observer here. You’re free to do whatever you want. I won’t force you, and I won’t try to stop you, either.”

My bold declaration meets with ready approval from D.

Makes sense. As she said, she’s just an observer.

She’s meddled with me from time to time, but it was usually just to give me a bit of a helping hand.

The biggest example was when she gave me Wisdom, but that basically means that all the other times were little more than some sage advice.

And while she has helped me before, she’s never done anything to interfere.

…Not with us reincarnations, at least.

When Güli-güli came to meet me in the Great Elroe Labyrinth, D definitely said something to chase him off.

And she stopped him from getting involved during the UFO incident, too.

So while she claims to be an observer, she’s not totally hands-off, either.

I’m sure her promise not to interfere with me is sincere, but that doesn’t stop her from messing with anyone else.

“I haven’t done much. At the most, maybe I just let a little false information slip into Ms. Oka’s Student Roster. Nobody ever said it was all true, but she sure seems to believe it and runs around accordingly. It’s really quite something.”

I punch D again.

Damn you!

How can anyone be so nasty?!

Her head explodes again, then restores itself in an instant.

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“No need to worry. I won’t do anything like that from now on. Or I suppose it’d be more accurate to say I won’t be able to anymore.”

“From now on” must mean she’s done it before, right?

Should I punch her one more time for good measure?

But what does she mean, she “won’t be able to”?

“I’ve been looking for you.”

The answer arrives almost immediately.

It comes from a voice that belongs to neither D nor me.

Turning around, I come face-to-face with a maid.

Wait, a maid?

She smiles pleasantly as she looks at D.

It’s weird. She’s a graceful, kindly looking traditional Japanese beauty, but her smile seems oddly sinister.

For some reason, the word mother comes to mind.

In the sense that you wouldn’t dare stand up to her.

She seems like a big-sister type who would put her hand to her cheek and say things like Oh my! and Dear me! so why is she so darn scary?

Huh, she is a little lacking in the chest department, though.

Uh-oh, I better not think stuff like that.

Gotta hold my breath and make sure Miss Maid’s anger doesn’t turn on me, too.

“How careless of me. I did so much work to conceal my location only to reveal myself by regenerating just now.”

“As usual, you lack the propriety that a top-ranking god should possess. Your latest escapade ends here. You’re coming back with me.”

Ohhh, so she’s here to bring the runaway D back home?

No wonder she has that don’t-mess-with-me air about her.

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“And what is this thing?”

Miss Maid looks at me.

You’re calling me a “thing,” huh? I see how it is.

That makes me kinda mad, but I get the feeling I wouldn’t be able to beat her…

For starters, I didn’t even notice when she got here.

In fact, for such a pretty lady, she has a ridiculously low level of presence.

Conjuring…? No, I don’t think so.

I can’t detect anything unnatural about her. But somehow her presence is unbelievably faint.

She’s probably using some technique I’ve never even heard of to erase her presence, but the effect is that you could easily lose track of her even when she’s right in front of your face like this.

I must be caught in her illusion.

Anyone who can trap me so easily has gotta be strong.

“This is my new toy.”

Ugh, and now D’s referring to me like an object, too?!

I’m sure she earnestly means it, but that just makes it even more insulting.

“A simple clone…? No, that doesn’t appear to be the case. Just what is it, exactly?”

Seriously, could you stop treating people like things?

Okay, I’m actually a spider, but still.

“A special spider mutation. I created her in my likeness to confuse you about where I was, but she exceeded my expectations and became a god.”

“…I haven’t the slightest idea what you mean.”

Yeah, when you put it that way, I don’t really get it, either.

To be honest, all I really did was get super-lucky and fall into some truly miraculous situations. Next thing you know, I’m a literal god.

Even I think it’s ridiculous when I look back at my own personal history, so I’m sure it’s even more confusing to an outsider.

“At any rate, we’re going home. You’ve got a great deal of work piled up.”

“I don’t want to go home. I don’t want to work. I just want to play forever.”

Still deadpan, D starts throwing a tantrum.

I hate to say it, but seeing her like this just makes it all the more convincing that she’s my original.

“Please don’t be so selfish. Who do you think has to manage the underworld in your place when you’re not working?”

“Mm.”

D points at Miss Maid.

Uh-oh.

Miss Maid is still smiling, but I can practically see a vein popping on her forehead.

“I’m quite busy managing the circles of hell already, you know.”

“But it’s not like you can’t do it, right?”

“It’s not a matter of whether I can or cannot. I have my duties, and you have yours. Now come along.”

Looks like Miss Maid is finally resorting to force.

She grabs D by the collar and starts dragging her away.

Quite a primitive method, if you ask me.

“Sorry, but as you can see, it looks like I won’t be able to come back here for a while. Which means I also can’t interfere with that world. The system will continue to run with or without my help.”

D addresses me evenly as she’s dragged away.

“But yes, that means I cannot interfere with the system. Which also means I can’t defend it from any potential outside interference, I’m sure.”

Whoa!

“Feel free to use anything lying around in this house. You may even find a useful item or two.”

What’s this?

Some kind of farewell gift?

Well, if she says I can have whatever I want, I’ll definitely take her up on the offer.

“Oh right, one more thing. I can’t interfere, but I’ll still peek in on you from time to time, of course.”

Um, okay, didn’t really need to know that.

“Yes, I’ll be watching over you. So be sure to entertain me, all right? Until next time.”

“You won’t have time to watch anything, just so you know.”

Miss Maid smiles threateningly at D, and they leave the room.

By the time I glance cautiously into the hallway, they’re gone.

I guess the world of gods has its own problems, huh?

Sure, I might end up there myself one day, but for now I’ll just pray that D works herself to death.

Hmm. Since she revealed her location to Miss Maid by using her power to regenerate her head after I knocked it clear off, I guess you could say I technically landed a hit on her after all.

Ms. Oka, I’ve avenged you!

Not that that’ll change how bad her situation is right now.

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It’s up to me to do something about that.

I’ve got to pay back this life debt. Maybe I should even go above and beyond.

…Debt, huh?

Yeah…yeah, I guess so.

When I think about it that way, there’s another person I owe.

We were enemies at first, then eventually called a truce, started working together, and even helped each other out.

And when I first got deified and was in a super-weakened state, my former enemy, someone who probably had every right to kill me, took me under her wing and protected me.

I’m already helping her out when I can, but that’s not enough to pay back the debt I owe.

Since she saved my life, I have to do something at least comparable in return.

Yeah, that settles it.

I’ll save Ms. Oka.

And then I’ll save the Demon Lord.

To the best of my ability, no holds barred, life on the line if need be.

That’s how you pay back a life debt.

First things first, though, I gotta search this whole house!

Bweh-heh-heh.

A super-special item left behind by D, an actual god!

What am I gonna get? I can’t wait to find out!