Kumo Desu ga, Nani ka? Volume Chapter 3

So we’re standing in front of this metal door.

Um… Now what?

I was so focused on burrowing down and finding it that I didn’t really think about what to do once we actually got here.

To be honest, I kinda just want to go back up and forget it.

I mean, this definitely can’t be a good sign, right?

Come on—think about it. The ruins of a supposedly lost civilization? When does that ever end well?

What, are we just gonna waltz on in there in search of adventure and/or hidden treasure?

No, thank you! That sounds awful!

Plus, these ruins somehow evaded my Detection.

The only reason I was able to find them in the first place is because I sensed some weird spot underground where my Detection didn’t reach.

For whatever reason, maybe the materials it’s made out of or whatever, I can’t sense anything in this area with Detection.

That’s what piqued my curiosity in the first place.

This is sketchy. This is reeeal sketchy.

What’re these ruins even doing so far down in the ground in the first place?

Especially underneath this dragon-ruled wasteland!

The very existence of this old civilization is taboo in this world. If the dragons knew about it, they’d probably destroy it or something.

Since they haven’t, that means even the dragons haven’t found this place.

So it’s somehow stayed hidden right in the middle of dragon territory for who knows how long.

Either the dragons are morons or these ruins are that well hidden.

I hope it’s the latter.

Actually, no, I guess it’s bad either way.

If it’s the former, I’d be worried about the fate of this world, and if it’s the latter, then we’re in danger just by being here.

CLANG! In case this wasn’t dangerous enough yet, the Demon Lord literally forced the door right open!

Of course she did.

Knowing the Demon Lord, she can’t ignore the existence of these highly suspicious ruins.

Ugh, guess there’s no getting out of this one.

Especially because an alarm started blaring the moment the door broke!

A loud BEEEEP! BEEEEP! echoes from within, unmistakably the sound of an alarm.

Ignoring the annoying noise, the Demon Lord walks right inside.

Ugh, I guess there’s no turning back.

“All of you, be ready for anything.”

“Miss Ariel, is this…?”

“Yep. Ruins from that ancient civilization. I didn’t think anything like this was still standing, so we’ll have to investigate. There’s no telling what might show up in here, so be on your guard.”

The Demon Lord leads the way, followed by Vampy, Mera, and the puppet spiders.

Left with no other choice, I walk in after them, passing through the broken doors into the ruins.

Weirdly, the inside is a corridor so clean and uniform, it doesn’t seem right to call it ruins.

It’s a very calming design, or at least it would be if it wasn’t for that super-annoying alarm.

Wow, that alarm is really starting to get on my nerves.

Since it’s going off, that means these ruins are still active.

These super-ancient ruins, hidden deep underground, are still running smoothly.

Where’s it getting the energy for that, huh?

Ooh, I’ve got a really bad feeling about this.

As if to confirm my suspicions, the walls suddenly crack open, revealing long, thin cylinders.

Yep, those are definitely gun muzzles. Great! Just great!

Several of these peek out from the walls, all pointing right toward us.

In the next instant, a roaring sound fills my ears.

The muzzles are shooting fire—wait, no, that was the sound of the Demon Lord destroying all of them.

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She used thread stretching from each of her fingers, manipulating the strands like whips to break all the gun barrels.

Her speed with the thread was so fast, I doubt anyone but me could see it.

Sure enough, Vampy and Mera are gaping in confusion, clearly unaware of what just happened. Looks like not even the puppet spiders could follow her movements completely.

Quietly, I canceled the spell I’d been preparing.

I could’ve destroyed them all, too, okay?

I only hanged back and let the Demon Lord handle this one, since she’s the oldest, okay?

I didn’t miss my chance because I picked magic and it takes too long to activate, okay?

I’m not mad that she stole the spotlight, okay?

Okay? Okay? Okay.

…All right, I should probably stop getting all worked up over nothing.

The enthusiastic greeting we just received proves only that there’s something here that intruders aren’t supposed to see. That was way too excessive for ordinary defense measures.

Yeah, I’m pretty sure my instincts were right on the money.

But unfortunately, it looks like we’re going to have to confirm that anyway.

Noticing a relatively intact gun among the wreckage, I pick it up to take a gander.

It’s heavy and looks a lot like a machine gun.

Since it’s not operated by people, there’s no trigger anywhere.

BANG! A shock hits my forehead, whipping my head backward.

Apparently, my fiddling caused it to misfire.

Since I have Suffering Nullification, it doesn’t particularly hurt, but I can’t help feeling humiliated for doing something so stupid and angry at the gun for causing the trouble in the first place.

“What’re you doing, White?”

The Demon Lord is staring at me, her eyebrows raised.

Dammit! She saw me do something so cringe!

At first, I was worried Vampy would laugh at me, but she’s too preoccupied with staring at me, her mouth wide-open, shocked that I’m fine after getting shot.

Oh. Yeah, I guess that makes sense.

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Last time, she saw Potimas turn me into Swiss cheese, so she must be wondering why I’m all right now.

But the bullets worked on me then only because Potimas’s mysterious barrier had lowered my defense. Normally, my defense is high enough that they’d bounce right off me.

Sure enough, when I put a hand to my forehead, there isn’t even a scratch there.

Although it might’ve turned a bit red.

But that doesn’t matter right now!

The problem is that this is a gun, exactly like I thought.

Guns are an ancient technology that should be totally lost to this world.

Now we know for sure these ruins belong to an ancient civilization and that they’re dangerous enough to kill intruders at the drop of a hat!

Good job, me! I was right! I was right, dammit!

To make matters worse, the bullets that gun fired weren’t real, physical bullets.

They were made of some weird glowing energy, like the ones Potimas used.

These rounds certainly weren’t as strong as Potimas’s, but I have to assume they were made with similar technology.

Peering at the Demon Lord, I see that she’s frowning, probably reaching the same conclusion as I am.

“Let’s head inside.”

I very reluctantly nod in agreement.

We continue walking down the corridor, which is way too modern to belong in this world.

We’re keeping an eye out for any guns that might suddenly come out of the walls and whatever else might lurk in here, of course.

The Demon Lord is in the lead, followed by Vampy and Mera, who are flanked on either side by the puppet spiders, and I’m bringing up the rear.

This formation is set up to protect the baby bloodsucker and Mera, who aren’t as battle-ready as the rest of the group.

That way, as long as nothing totally insane happens, we should be able to protect them.

As we proceed down the very long hallway, we reach a dead end.

But the wall here has strange gaps in the ceiling, the other walls to the side, and even the floor.

It’s only touching the four corners of the hallway, and if you look closely, there seem to be rails of some kind there.

I poke around, wondering if there’s a hidden door, but I can’t find anything of the sort.

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But there’s no way this is the end. I bet the ruins continue behind this weird wall.

After a similar examination, the Demon Lord murmurs as if she’s noticed something.

“Hmm? Maybe it’s one of those?”

With that, she draws back her fist and punches the wall with all her might.

BOOM.

Her fist goes right through the wall, opening a huge hole.

Then she grabs the sides of the new hole, prying it open further.

You’re outta control, Miss Demon Lord.

Well, this isn’t a game, so it’s probably fine to break the wall down and proceed, I guess.

Peering inside the hole, I see a small room on the other side.

There are no doors on any of the walls.

But for some reason, there is a door on the ceiling. Not only that, but it looks like an elevator door.

In fact, there are up and down buttons next to the door, so that’s definitely what it is.

Huh? An elevator?

I turn around, looking back at the hallway we’ve been walking through.

Mentally, I compare its length to how deep underground these ruins are.

Yeah, it’s about the same distance.

If you stood this hallway up vertically, you’d have an elevator to the surface.

That would explain why there’s a door on the ceiling, too.

I’d been wondering how people ever got to these ruins from aboveground and back, but I guess they were probably able to use this elevator when needed.

Yep, yep, that makes sense… Wait, WHAT?

Is that seriously how this thing works? What about all the earth packed on top of it?

Did they use their ancient technology to dig through it somehow?

Every single time they wanted to enter or leave?

What kind of stupid gimmick is that?

If they could do that much, I feel like they should’ve been able to come up with a more effective method in the first place.

Although maybe there was a good reason for it at the time…

“Miss Ariel, is this an elevator?”

“Hmm, yeah, seems that way.”

Looks like Vampy reached the same conclusion as I did, although judging by her face, she doesn’t quite believe it.

Mera doesn’t know what an elevator is, so he’s just confused.

“This is a hidden elevator. They were rather popular when this civilization was around. They’re normally buried deep underground, but they can be raised to connect to the surface when needed. They usually lead to a hidden subterranean base.”

“What about all the dirt?”

“That’s what’s so crazy about these elevators. They can temporarily turn earth into mud. It’s a stupid mechanism that wastes a ridiculous amount of energy, but…well, it is Potimas who came up with it, so that’s more or less standard.”

Potimas came up with these things…?

That explains a lot, but it also makes me even more convinced that these ruins are bad news.

A hidden base…? Is Potimas in here or something?

The Demon Lord goes inside the elevator and busts through the wall on the opposite side with the same method as before.

On the other side of the wall is a door—an exit to the elevator.

Once again, the Demon Lord pries it open with brute force.

At the same time, another alarm starts to blare.

Ugh, it’s the same thing that happened before.

The Demon Lord ignores the alarm and steps through the door.

The rest of us follow her.

It’s another corridor, similar to the one we just came down.

Unlike that one, though, it’s kinda short; we reach the end quickly.

This time, instead of a wall, there’s another door. This one is a double sliding door.

The Demon Lord walks toward it.

Then the door slides open on its own.

And here I was expecting the Demon Lord to force it open again.

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The Demon Lord must have been thinking the exact same thing, ’cause she suddenly stops for a second.

Wait, no!

She didn’t freeze because the door opened.

It’s because there are countless inorganic eyes waiting on the other side of the door!

Tons of gun muzzles are pointed toward us.

This time, they’re all being wielded by robots.

They’re not humanoid cyborgs like Potimas’s body double but simplistic robots that are more like basic weapons. There are more of them than I can count.

The only word I can think of to describe them is weird.

Each one has a single arm, which ends in a muzzle bigger than the ones we saw near the entrance. Then, there’s a torso supporting the arm and continuous tracks that move it around. There’s nowhere for a human to pilot it.

In fact, they’re about the same size as a human, so the only way to “ride” one would be to wrap your arms around it and hope for the best.

Meaning they’re self-propelled gun platforms, albeit not very large.

Anyway, these hello, I am a weapon–looking robots are lined up neatly in this huge room, all pointing their guns right at us.

Then, without warning, countless flashes of light erupt from their muzzles!

The shots streak toward us.

Swinging her thread, the Demon Lord knocks them away, neutralizing at least half the rounds.

…This demon lord’s specs are kinda broken.

But even she can’t completely block a constant stream of light-based bullets from dozens of robots, so a few stray shots come toward the rest of us.

The puppet spiders take care of those with their swords, though.

…This demon lord’s underlings’ specs are kinda broken, too.

Since the Demon Lord and the puppet spiders are blocking all of the robots’ attacks, I decide to go on the offensive.

But first, Vampy is flying into a panic because of all the lights and sounds, so I deliver a quick chop to her head to bring her back to her senses.

“Make an ice wall.”

Figuring she can at least defend herself, I give her an order to make a barricade in front of her with magic.

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The baby bloodsucker has the Water and Ice Magic skills, so if she makes a decent ice wall, it should be able to hold up against some of the robots’ attacks.

Luckily, she seems to understand what I’m saying, so she makes an ice wall despite her tearful expression.

I have Mera take refuge behind the wall as well.

Both of them should be safe for the moment.

All right, now it’s my time to shine!

The moment I think that to myself, the robots go flying all over the place.

Looking back, I see that the Demon Lord is charging their front lines.

Whyyyy?!

Ahhh, maybe she decided to attack because the vampire duo is safe and secure.

She could’ve attacked at any time, I guess, but she was playing defensively so she wouldn’t put the baby and Mera in danger.

Even as I process all this, the Demon Lord is already turning the robots into scrap metal.

Her thread is flying around like crazy, either smacking down or cutting through the robots.

The Demon Lord’s fighting style is very simple, but that only makes it even more powerful.

With her obscenely high stats and maxed-out thread skills, it’s no wonder she’s so damn strong.

The clearly metal robots are getting crushed and sliced up like they’re made of paper.

This might be the first time I’ve actually watched the Demon Lord fight.

Usually, she finishes everything in one blow.

If anything, I guess the best glimpse of her fighting style I’ve seen is when she was fighting me?

During that battle between Sariella and Ohts.

At the time, she was using Gluttony to thwart all my attacks. I couldn’t do a damn thing!

Actually, since she’s not using Gluttony right now, I guess she’s not taking this too seriously.

Damn, she’s seriously overpowered.

While the Demon Lord crushes any robots within her reach, the puppet spiders finish off any that escape her thread.

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The spider sisters have deployed their hidden arms, so each of them is wielding six swords.

They fend off the robots’ light bullets with their blades before cutting them down in one smooth motion.

More and more robots fall to the floor, sliced neatly in half.

How are they cutting through these metal robots so easily?

The four puppet spiders scatter in all four directions, beating down more robots.

While the Demon Lord is clearly dealing with the majority of the robots, the puppet spiders are still trashing a respectable amount.

The Demon Lord’s strength is her sheer raw power; the puppet spiders’ strength is their polished technique.

They have all kinds of weapon skills at high levels, so while they’re technically monsters, they look like master swordsmen as they slice the robots into ribbons.

Not to mention that they’re using six swords each.

The idea of “two-sword style” is cool in theory, but in practice it’s probably just hard.

I think wielding two swords is actually allowed in kendo, but I’m almost certain that practically no one does it.

Why? Because it’s impossibly difficult.

Swords, especially metal swords, are heavy.

Waving one around with one hand obviously wouldn’t be easy.

In kendo, they use bamboo swords, which are way lighter, but even then, almost nobody chooses to use two.

But for the puppet spiders, whose stats are all over a thousand, swinging a sword with one hand is no problem at all.

Despite how cute they look, they’re wielding these heavy weapons with ease.

Six-sword style.

I don’t think any human swordsman could match that, no matter how much they trained. No waaay.

Ael doesn’t even look fazed as she takes down the robots.

This one’s the efficient type, I think.

She’s the kind who avoids pointless movements as much as possible.

Considering her shrewd personality, she might be trying to maximize her efficiency to make things as easy as possible.

Sael, on the other hand, is stressful to watch.

Since she’s so timid, she always freaks out when she has to fight.

They’re just dolls, so she doesn’t really change her expression or speak, but I can already picture her shrieking eek! with her eyes squeezed shut.

Still, she’s as strong as the other three, so I’m not too worried about her.

Now, Riel is nerve-racking to watch in a different way from Sael.

I mean, there’s no telling what she’ll do. Riel is an absolute space-case weirdo, so it’s always hard to read her next move.

Plus, sometimes she totally messes up.

I can’t count the number of times I’ve seen her come close to tripping and falling on nothing.

Generally, I catch her with my thread.

So even though it looks like she’s fighting safely, she might be the most stressful to watch.

But Fiel is pretty scary herself.

Frankly, Fiel is totally reckless and constantly pushes her luck.

She has a tendency to get carried away and rush into things without worrying about the consequences. Even now, she’s pushing through the ranks of the robots, leaving destruction in her wake.

These robots are weak, so it’s not a big deal right now, but I don’t think it’s smart to lose your head in battle like that.

Huh? Now that I think about it, do all of them except Ael have worrisome habits?

…Well, I’m sure it’ll be fine. Maybe. Definitely. Probably.

Hmm. Thinking back on this journey, I have felt like I’m babysitting at times.

All of them, especially Fiel, like to climb on me and stuff.

Yes, my spider body is big enough to fit a child or two, but aren’t these guys older than they look? Why do I have to babysit them like this?

Ael is the only one who doesn’t try to ride me. Fiel just hops on whenever she wants, Riel climbs on me for no reason, and Sael shoots me puppy-dog looks like she’s begging me to give her a ride!

Hmm? Hang on. Hasn’t Ael ridden on me just once?

In fact, wasn’t she the very first one to do it?

Huh?! Wait a second!

Did Ael deliberately give them the idea of climbing on me so I would have to deal with her sisters instead of her?!

I bet she did! That’s exactly what that crafty little Ael would do!

Ooh, I can literally picture her saying Just as planned! with an evil look on her face!

Damn, Ael, you scary!

As I uncover a very alarming truth, the Demon Lord and company are making quick work of the robots.

Looks like I won’t be getting a turn this time.

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But it’s only because these robots aren’t worth the trouble, okay?

I’m letting the Demon Lord and her underlings take this one ’cause they’re older, okay?

I didn’t miss my chance because I waited too long for the right moment, okay?

I’m not mad that they stole the spotlight, okay?

Okay? Okay? Okay.

Listen, this place has gotta be some kind of armory.

Why else would so many stupid robots be in one place?

I glanced around again at the room full of robots.

It’s about the size of a largish gymnasium, packed with robots from wall to wall.

The robots are moving now, since they’re attacking us, but this must have originally been a storage room to keep the robots in a safe place, don’t you think?

I mean, they were lined up very neatly at first. Obviously the Demon Lord has ruined that, but I think whoever put them here originally wanted to keep all the robots in one place.

In fact, I can see little pedestal mechanisms in the floor spaced out at regular intervals, the perfect size for holding a robot. Plus, there are cables sticking out of them that probably got unplugged when the robots moved.

These cables must have been providing the robots with power of some kind.

Let’s just hope it isn’t MA energy.

I realize that’s probably exactly what it is.

Ancient ruins, connected to Potimas, with an armory full of robots.

With all of these unfortunate factors, I’d be more surprised if it wasn’t MA energy at this point.

Guess I’ll investigate those pedestals a bit.

But when I step forward to investigate, I immediately regret it.

As soon as I set foot from the hallway into the room, I hear a loud CLANK behind me.

Turning around, I see the walls on either side of the hallway opening up, and one robot emerges from each.

Hidden doors?!

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The robots are right near Vampy and Mera.

They’re protected in the front by the ice wall but totally unprotected in the rear.

Which means they’re completely unprepared for a surprise robot attack from behind.

Finally, I get to be in the spotlight!

Since I’ve left the hallway, I’m a little far away, but at my speed, I can fix that in a matter of seconds.

I jump in between the robots and the vampire duo, ready to destroy the former.

Now I can really show off!

“Yaaaah!”

Oh. Looks like I spoke too soon.

Mera dashes forward with a shout, closing in on a robot.

Before it can fire its gun, he slashes at the muzzle with his sword, knocking it away.

The other robot aims its gun at Mera, but this one’s muzzle freezes over.

It’s Vampy’s Ice Magic.

With the muzzle blocked, the energy inside has nowhere to go, and the frozen robot explodes.

Seeing this, Mera imitates the Vampy’s moves and plugs up the first robot’s muzzle, too.

He’s naturally gifted with Water and Ice Magic, too, maybe because it’s Vampy who turned him into a vampire.

His skill levels for those aren’t quite as high as hers, but he makes up for that with his higher stats.

Frozen like the other one, the robot attempts to fire and explodes, too.

Nice. Very well done.

Mera used his quick thinking to aim the muzzle away in that first moment, and Vampy made a spot-on judgment to freeze the other robot.

On top of that, Mera realized he couldn’t destroy the robots with his own strength, so he deliberately made it self-destruct.

Though it might be hard to tell from the way the Demon Lord and the puppet spiders are making quick work of them, these robots aren’t actually all that weak.

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In fact, from the perspective of a human from this world, they’d be damn strong.

If even one of those light bullets hit you, you’d end up with a breezy new air vent in your body just like that.

And since these robots can fire those powerful rounds in rapid succession, only an idiot would call them weak.

It’s impressive that the bloodsucker duo managed to beat two of them without any help, even if they did get lucky by figuring out super fast how to make them self-destruct.

Really goes to show how much Vampy and Mera have grown.

Yep, yep. I believed in you guys!

I knew you could handle those robots without any help.

That’s why I didn’t get involved, okay?

I just wanted to give these two an opportunity to shine, okay?

I didn’t miss my chance because I was too busy fantasizing about how cool I would look, okay?

I’m not mad that they stole the spotlight, okay?

Okay? Okay? Okay.

…Is it just me, or have I not done anything since we entered these stupid ruins?

The only thing I’ve accomplished is shooting myself in the face!

Uh-oh.

If I don’t do something cool soon, my reputation will be down the drain!

Ugh, but at this point the Demon Lord and the puppet spiders have wiped out most of the robots.

If I jump in this late in the game, it’ll probably be even more embarrassing.

I mean, I’m sure they’re already wondering what the hell I’m doing, but that would just make it so much worse.

We can’t have that, can we?

Yeah, it’s better if I stay cool and don’t do anything!

I’m the last line of defense.

I can’t go wasting my time on every insignificant little enemy that shows up!

Panicking and leaping into action because the spotlight keeps getting stolen is waaay beneath me.

I’ll be the bigger spider and let everyone else look cool for now.

Hmph! I won’t swoop in until it’s absolutely necessary.

It’s the protagonist’s job to come through in the most dramatic moment possible. Duh!

That’s why I’m not gonna bother with these stupid little robots.

Heh-heh. Yeah. I’ll just save my strength for a bigger, better fight.

Anyway, while I was standing around being a sore loser, it looks like the Demon Lord and company finished turning all the robots into a scrap heap.

A second later, one of the puppet spiders—Sael, the timid one—goes flying across the room with a loud boom.

Huh?

?! What the hell just happened?!

I turn my gaze to both Sael and whatever sent her flying. (Having lots of eyes sure is convenient at times like these.)

Sael is missing all three of her left arms and part of her torso.

That’d be a fatal wound for a normal person, but since the puppet spiders’ real bodies are small spiders inside of dolls, it doesn’t matter too much if the doll gets damaged.

It’ll take a while to repair, but that’s no big deal as long as the Sael herself is unharmed.

Although if the hit had been a little closer to the center, it’s possible the spider body might’ve gotten hurt, too.

Sael must have dodged just in time, or else the culprit’s aim was off.

Either way, I’m sure Sael was targeted only because she was the closest.

The attacker, emerging from a door on the other side of the room, can be described only as a tank.

It’s covered in very strong-looking metal armor, has a giant gun that makes the robots look dinky by comparison, and its tank treads are crushing the ruins of the smaller robots beneath it as it slowly moves forward.

This thing looks strong.

In fact, it has to be strong to send one of the puppet spiders flying despite her high stats.

Look, I know I said I wanted the spotlight, but I never said I wanted a big, strong opponent.