Imperfect Desires Chapter 253 – The Riddle Of Her Life?

As Darren rested his head against the seat and closed his eyes, sleep took over his senses. Soon, his dreams took him to the past…

“I think I’m in love,” he heard Chen Xiu’s voice through the headset while they were playing the video game as a team online.

Darren was shocked by her sudden revelation that he forgot to attack and that gave the enemy a chance to attack him instead. Half of his HP was lost and Chen Xiu had to step in to save his game character as she said, “Oi! Pay attention! Do you want to die? Even if you do, don’t make me lose this game.”

Darren was brought back to reality because of her loud voice piercing his eardrums. He always wondered why her stupid competitiveness only came out when they were playing games? Couldn’t she fight like that for herself as well? But instead of saying all that, in a soft voice, he answered, “Sorry, I got distracted for a moment.”

“Distracted? By what? Your girlfriend?” asked Xiu as they continued to attack the enemy. When Darren didn’t reply, she didn’t push him for an answer either and took his silence as a yes but doing so made her heart ache for some reason. In silence, they both focused on winning the fight first. When they finally managed to steal the orb from the enemy, that’s when Xiu spoke again, “Stranger!”

“Hmm…” hummed Darren in reply.

“What’s the best way to ask someone out?”

Darren’s heart clenched in his c.h.e.s.t and he closed his eyes as if he was going through great pain. But his only pain at that time was the fact that the girl he loved was asking him how to confess her feelings for another. He never thought something could hurt this much but it did at that time. He was this close to losing another thing dear to him. The only difference was, this time he was losing the person he loved with all his heart. And it was not like his dream that he could replace with a new one. Because there was only one Chen Xiu and no one knew that better than him.

Chen Xiu had no clue about what was running through his mind. She didn’t know that her simple words were hurting him immensely. She was only sharing something personal with a person she trusted the most. It was weird and unbelievable to her as well that she trusted Darren even without knowing him in person. But no matter how unbelievable it was, it was the truth. She trusted him maybe more than she even trusted her own sanity.

When you love a person and they love someone else, that pain is indescribable. But they both knew how it felt to be the only one loving.

“Why aren’t you saying anything again?” w.h.i.n.ed Chen Xiu as she didn’t hear Darren’s reply again. She found his behavior quite odd since he always paid attention to her every word, no matter how stupid her words had been. Today, however, he seemed lost.

Darren looked heavenwards and replied, “The best way to ask someone out is… Just do it.”

“Huh?”

“Don’t look for the best way or best time, there is no such thing in this world. Because with every passing moment you’re losing the best moment.” Chen Xiu listened to him attentively and even nodded instinctively.

“Ohh…” she started, “So that’s how my first love failed. I got it now. While I waiting for the right moment, someone else stole that right moment from right under my nose.”

“Then you shouldn’t let it happen now,” advised Darren in a heavy voice with a strange feeling in his c.h.e.s.t. As if he was suffocated now. “Don’t let this love lose.”

Chen Xiu was quiet for a long moment before sighing, “But I didn’t want to lose the first one either. He just didn’t even wait for me.” Darren only frowned at her words not knowing what she was referring to. But only Chen Xiu knew how badly she wanted to stand before him and scream at him for not waiting for her. If only he had…

“I really can’t think of a single person who wouldn’t want to wait for Chen Xiu even if it is for a lifetime and beyond,” said Darren in a playful way but he meant every single word he said. Because he was that idiot who was willing to wait for her even if it was for a lifetime or beyond.

Chen Xiu scoffed in reply, “Oh, please! Even you didn’t wait for me.”

“What?” asked Darren with furrowed brows and confusion palpable on his face.

“Forget it,” replied Chen Xiu as she calmed her feelings for him that were starting to emerge from a deep part of her heart. But she couldn’t let him know about those feelings. She didn’t want to lose him as a friend as well. She had lost the chance to make him hers, she couldn’t risk this bond of friendship with him. It meant everything to her.

“Sometimes, you talk in riddles and make my brain go poof!” said Darren to distract her since he could feel the tension surrounding her.

Chen Xiu took a deep breath before saying in a small voice, “You could have been the answer to my riddle. Instead, you chose to become the riddle of my life.”

Darren was left dumbfounded. He didn’t know what she meant and neither did she bother to explain before going offline. He was left contemplating her last words without knowing that she was actually confessing her love to him. Since she didn’t want to keep her feelings buried in her heart for good, it was her own way of letting him know that he was her first love. Her one and only first love.

Her words were actually based on, “Follow love and it will flee; flee love and it will follow you. ~(Ann Hood)” 

What she meant was that she wanted to follow her love for him and make him the answer to the riddle that she considered her lonely life to be. But now when she was trying to flee from her feelings for him, he was following her like the ghost of Christmas past…

~~~

Darren was jolted awake from his dream when Ben shook his shoulder and said, “Sir, we have arrived.”

It took Darren a minute to gather back his senses after that short nap but he felt a lot better. He wasn’t feeling as weak as before. The only problem with him was the words in his dreams that rang in his mind again and again.

That dream was like a cruel reminder for him that he had lost his Xiu once. Whether it was to Zhou Jinhai or to death. He had lost his Xiu twice and only because he wasn’t there to hold her hand in the first place. If he had confessed his feelings for her first, he wouldn’t have lost her to Zhou Jinhai and if only he had been right by her side, he could have saved her from death.

Darren ran a hand over his face in exasperation as he stepped into the elevator and came to his floor. Just as he punched in the passcode and pushed open the door, what came into his view baffled him, leaving him staring with a blank face.